I lay there in the Virgin spring sun

A vast vacant space surrounded me with so much green

The smell of earth and grass stabbed strongly through my nostrils

Instituting a stronger longing for a human-nature romance

I wished I could hug the earth

But I stared ahead instead

A giant brick-walled structure stood quietly among the woods

Although it’s high great windows seemed to communicate something indistinct

I pulled my eyes away when one window was flung open

I closed my eyes and I muttered a silent prayer to my creator

Grateful for the good weather

Which my cold heart and body had long longed to have

No one but me would be busking in the sun on a Monday morning

So everyone went by their daily businesses

A few people seldom crossed the empty field

Some pulling dogs on leashes

Others with baby strollers

Nevertheless I drowned deeper in prayer and thanks giving

The loud voices of school children piercing through the kindergarten fence

Serviced to bring my wandering thoughts to an interim halt

But I focused more energetically

Still thanking my Father in heaven

For the hottest sun so far that year

And on, I walked to a place I called home

Original piece by Comfort Ankunda

I’m sure this is not the first time you are hearing this word. I can’t count the times it has been said to me since I started my social work studies at Makerere University way back in 2014. Up until now this word is still wide enough for me to fully comprehend and completely digest. I wouldn’t want to be so academical so I will avoid quoting authors like Healy (2014) who have written loads of books about the concept. Oh Gosh! I’m already academical. My bad!

Anyways for me and at least for many, resilience simply means ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. It’s like being hit by heavy waves but you refuse to sink. However, it shouldn’t be mistaken for “failure to die”…we don’t test failed resilience when one dies. Be it emotional, spiritual, economical or at worst physical death. Rather, it means one is able to function “appropriately” in the face of challenges (appropriately is quoted because it’s as subjectively understood as resilience itself).

As humans we have a natural drive to survive, to stay “alive”, to keep going as we hope for good things to happen to us a long our life trajectories. I believe Carl Rogers when he talks of the inherent capacity in human beings to do good. Eiiissshh! I’m again being academical. But yeah! We all thrive to be the best that we can, to do good things to anyone including those that don’t deserve them. But yo! At some point our resilience bundle red-warns us then we lose this goodness.

I’ve come to think of it that no one is the way they are because of “nothing”. I have stopped saying “so and so is like this or that”. You should concur with me that humans aren’t static beings, we are very dynamic and get highly influenced by people, things and circumstances around us. Our characters get shaped, de-shaped and re-shaped by these mostly irresistible forces-some of which we have little or no control about. Our resilience stops warning ⚠️ and reaches the verge of “death”. We don’t lose who we are but we adopt mechanisms to cope(some of which may be “negative”-again negative is subjective)

So what about we stop judging people for behaving in a certain way during a certain time in their lives? How about we stop saying “she is good, she is bad, he is good or bad”. No one is inherently either of these but irresistible winds and waves of life make people become the way they do…simply because we have different levels of resilience. While some can shove the waves to the side and sail through, others simply drown into a sea of egoistic defense mechanisms or “lose their ego and themselves completely”. That is why sometimes the so called best-mannered end up doing “shocking” things. It’s simply because their resilience levels were at zero when life threw trash at them!!!!

I have grown up knowing that love is very important for society to live harmoniously and I’m not about to be proven wrong. Blended with my social work knowledge, I still hold on to this self-believed philosophy and things work out just right. Interestingly, I have realized that some European countries (Norway for example) have incorporated the concept of Love in their national laws especially in child protection work and this has made Love a children’s right (a right to be loved).

Well, there are “gazillion” interpretations of love and countless expressions of the same. If there’s anything subjective, that is “Love” and I wouldn’t want to impart my own understanding of the term. I however believe that all love should have good intentions and it least means “controlling” the other person. If anything it should grant them self-autonomy to decide life courses and trajectories. It’s good though to be careful so that these selfless acts do not entangle you in an emotional dissonance. What you feel also matters and you need that self-determination just like anybody else.

The point I’m making is that do not spend the greater part of your adult life Loving one person…putting in all efforts to please one particular human being! Get out of the “strangle” and spread that love to the rest of humanity. Divide that love to hungry men on the street, to poor neighbor’s children, to women suffering domestic violence, to sick people wishing to die on stinky hospital beds, to hungry children with barely no roof over their little heads…the list goes on. Let us spread love! Whether or not we receive it back!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton